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A lot goes into planning a proposal, though. After all, it is a weighty question that can make or break your relationship. While it’s right to focus on planning your every move during the proposal, it’s also important to stay grounded and to be aware of the possible mistakes you might make.
In fact, a study analysed accepted and rejected marriage proposals to learn the mistakes people did before getting a disheartening “no” from their would-be brides or grooms. The author examined different accounts of rejection from popular social media and forum sites like YouTube, Weddingbee.com, and Reddit. Based on that study, here’s what you mustn’t do when proposing to your partner (according to science).
Make a Public Proposal
There’s a bit of a split between those who like having public proposals and those who aren’t fans of it. The study submitted by Lisa Hoplock to the University of Victoria favoured the latter. Its results showed that rejected proposals often had more people watching than accepted ones. Hoplock added that extremely public proposals, especially the ones in front of strangers, were more likely to be rejected.
One of the most romantic aspects of a relationship is the intimacy you share when you’re in private and relaxing together. Whether you’re binging a show on the couch or sharing a romantic cruise on a yacht you just booked, nothing can beat the simple question when there’s only the two of you. No pretence and no pressure.
Propose Too Early in the Relationship
Love, indeed, is a beautiful thing – it makes you do things that you otherwise wouldn’t do if you were single. But, while it may move you to do the unexpected, being love-drunk may also swing you to make life-changing mistakes. Like proposing too early.
In Hoplock’s paper, the men who were rejected were also the ones who proposed before their partners were ready. Most of them proposed about two years earlier than the ones who got their proposal accepted. The study also showed that women were likely to reject a proposal if they thought they were too young to get engaged. Further insight stated that men who popped the question too early planned their proposals hastily and out of desperation.
You may avoid this problem by biding your time. Ask yourself: is my partner ready? If there’s still doubt in your mind that they’re not, it’s best to wait until both of you are in a stable position in your relationship. Remember that getting married means settling down and working things out together.;
Propose Empty-Handed
The past years have been all about breaking traditions, especially when it comes to relationships – and that’s perfectly fine. However, Hoplock’s study found that there’s a part of that tradition that’s crucial: the ring. Results showed that women were eight times more inclined to accept a proposal when it comes with a ring. This is because the ring represented the man’s preparedness to get engaged.
The ring doesn’t have to break your bank, either. Just buy what you can afford and offer it with sincerity and conviction. It’s a symbol of your readiness and commitment. Most of the time, the material doesn’t matter; your effort does.
The concept of time is a common theme in this list. You don’t want to push your partner to hurry towards marriage. And you definitely don’t want to do it as a last-ditch effort to save a relationship. So, remember these three important things about proposing: take your time, make sure you’re both ready to commit; make it private or semi-private; and don’t forget the ring.
