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Sometimes, romantic relationships just don’t work out. Priorities change, goals become incompatible, and you both realize that the best thing to do is to go your separate ways. For most former couples, the end of the relationship is the end of their interaction with one another. You won’t speak again, and neither party is interested in continuing to be involved in each other’s lives. If you don’t own property together, run a business together, or have children together, you probably don’t have a real reason to stay a part of each other’s daily lives. If you fall into the “separate lives” category, here’s a guide to having a healthy breakup.
1) Set Boundaries Immediately
During a relationship, couples become reliant on one another. They begin to think as a “we” and share problems and tasks between them. This behavior, however, needs to cease when the relationships end. And, it should happen immediately, if you want a healthy breakup. If your ex needs to find a new place to live in the aftermath of the breakup and asks for your assistance, then simply remind them that that isn’t your role anymore. Doing this can be a shock to both of you, but it’s a boundary that needs to be established. You may still be in one another’s lives because you’ve gained some mutual friends, but the partner role is no longer something you can fulfill for each other.
2) Be Honest With Yourself
Even if your relationship ended naturally and there is no bad blood between you, seeing an ex-partner start dating someone new can always be a little uncomfortable. Because of that, your connection on social media should really cease. There’s really no telling how you’re going to react when you see that first cuddled-up picture with someone new. The first time you see them gushing over their current partner, you could go all the way back to square one mentally. There’s no reason to risk it. Be honest with yourself. A healthy breakup starts with your mental health, and honestly, your mental health is worth more than a social media follow.
3) Block Them
I really don’t care how over it you think you are. You’re going to be brought right back in it 6 months later when your phone rings and it’s them. Period. All the feels are going to start flooding back, good or bad. You don’t need to be in love again and don’t need to be hurt again. They don’t deserve that power or that access. A healthy breakup really starts with creating a bubble around your mental health. You can’t allow someone who hurt you, left you, embarrassed you, or just plain wasn’t right for you to have access to disrupt your peace.
We all know exes have a 6th sense about our happiness. We’re connected in a way that doesn’t break simply because we broke up. You have to take matters into your own hands, even at the expense of hurting your own feelings for a while, just to get some peace. It’s hard to walk away cold turkey from a person who lit up your world for a period of time. But, in the end, what’s best for you is to look forward and not keeping holding onto what’s behind you.
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